The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.
Reasons I grab my boobs
- running upstairs
- running downstairs
- stoked on life
- walking through my house in the dark
there are two types of crushes:
1. a casual crush, you look at them and you’re like “wow you’re pretty cute i’d like to get to know you better”
2. absolutely, undeniably head over heels oh my god are you fucking kidding me you are perfect wow i’m literally going to rethink every conversation we’ve ever had for the next 9 hours of my life please love me
there is no in between
just spooning my girlfriend
out of her container
it’s ice cream
do you ever just want to go outside in the middle of the night and walk around and not actually do anything just observe and think and stuff
ya but then i remember that i don’t wanna get murdered
If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.
This is perfect.